Dear Ann Cannon • How do you discuss politics with your children when politics seep into the school itself? Specifically I’m thinking about the “build the wall” chants from students at a recent Woods Cross High School football game or the way some kids repeat the president’s remarks about grabbing women?
— Flummoxed
Dear Flummoxed • Schoolyard conversations about a president’s agenda and/or bad behavior are nothing new. I was raising elementary-school-age sons during the Bill Clinton/ Monica Lewinsky sex scandal, and I can TOTALLY promise you I wished they’d been spared discussion of cigars and blue dresses at that tender age. Still. Political discussions today — whether on the playground or around the office water cooler — feel especially hostile.
Your question is an important one. How do you talk to your children about politics against the backdrop of the things they’re hearing at school? Obviously you can and should tell them what you think about any and all issues, even if it looks like they’re not listening. Our values, formed by temperament and life experiences, shape the views we hold. Our children should know what those values are and why they matter to us.
Now here comes the hard part. While asserting our beliefs, we should make a real effort to help our kids understand that there is more than one valid way to view an issue. This is easier said than done, confesses the lady who often shouts at the TV when “Meet the Press” is on.
Meanwhile, what do you do if your children’s classmates are giving voice to positions with which you disagree? Generally speaking, I think it’s important to strongly disapprove of the sentiment while refusing to demonize the kid who expresses it. Helping children create a strong moral center is desirable. Giving them permission to cultivate a sense of their own moral superiority isn’t.
Dear Ann Cannon • If you find out something negative about someone because of innocently Googling their name just to find out their phone number or something, should you tell them?
— Curious Googler
Dear Curious • Hmmmm. I suppose it could depend on what you’ve discovered. Like, I would be pretty upset if someone accused me online of being a Red Sox fan. Still, I’m inclined to vote “no.” What would be the point anyway? To curry favor with that person somehow? As unfair as it might seem, he or she would probably be annoyed with YOU for delivering the message.
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I received the following email this week. Rather than asking a question, the writer shares a pet peeve — one I’ve heard discussed on several occasions. Here are her thoughts. What are yours?
Dear Ann Cannon • Let me begin by saying that I am definitely not a hardcore provocateur or a problem causer! I will admit to being a cranky old woman, totally dismayed by the lack of civility that exists in “new age” spoken English.
My weekly excursion to the market provides a perfect example. While receiving a receipt and groceries from the checker, I automatically say, “Thank you.” I’m told, “No problem!”
That’s when I want to scream, “Of course it’s NO problem!” I’m the one who reached and plucked items off the shelves. I pinched and poked the produce. I looked for the latest dates on dairy products and checked the eggs. I read the calorie and sugar count on every box and carefully selected meat, poultry and fish. Then, after loading my shopping cart, I was required to unload it onto the conveyor belt and watch a careless gum-chewer bag the milk cartons on top of my peaches.
Whatever happened to “you are welcome” or “my pleasure” as a response? “Thanks for shopping with us” might be too much to ask for at this point.
But I assure you — I am NO problem whatsoever!
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